Why Do Breakups Hurt So Badly?

Right now, it is perfectly reasonable to fall to pieces from the shock of a breakup. “While you can't switch off these feelings, you can better understand why this breakup is hurting you mentally, emotionally, and physically. Not only is your brain causing havoc, but as a woman, your deepest needs to be wanted and loved aren't being fulfilled.

Here are the top 3 reasons why breakups hurt so much

1: Memory DNA

A long, long time ago, rejection from a mate often meant death for a woman. If a woman was pushed away from her tribe, she had to survive on her own. In ancient times your survival was a result of the groups' effort. Hunting, gathering, and protection from wild animals were crucial for survival.

Some say this is the reason humans are social creatures. We crave acceptance, interaction, and communication.

Social rejection doesn't equal a death sentence in this day and age, but we still feel instinctive distress. When we experience exclusion, our bodies and brains have a physical reaction. This response is why surviving a relationship breakup can be one of the most challenging things a woman faces. On an emotional level, it can be damaging. Rejection by a man that you love can be a disturbing experience. A breakup can feel like your heart is being ripped out, and there is an explanation for this. 

2: We are Programmed for Commitment

From an early age, women are primed to seek out monogamous romantic relationships.

Most young girls fantasize about finding a prince charming, having a fairy-tale wedding, and living in a big castle.

But why is commitment such a deep-rooted need for women?

The truth is that society and culture pressure women to not only “have it all,” but to have it at a young age. When a man rejects a female, she starts asking herself, "What's wrong with me?" and "Am I not good enough?” This is because we are made to feel as though there is something wrong with us if we don't get into a serious relationship or marry.

3: It's Biological

Being in love raises dopamine in the brain. This means we experience pleasure in our lover's presence. Almost like they are the drug, and their affection is the 'high'. The release of oxytocin triggers this intense feeling. This love hormone links individuals together.

When the brain experiences this, it creates a pleasant connection with the specific person, and it automatically adapts to expect it. Who you are is intertwined with who they are. This makes it feel impossible to detach yourself when a breakup happens out of the blue. When all those good moments disappear, you feel lost. This is because you lost something. You missed the source of the 'high' your body grew accustomed to experiencing.

Like a recovering drug addict, you must also suppress your unhealthy dependency. Get an action plan and deal with the breakup like a Girl with Game.

xxx Leandra

Want to know how he's dealing with the breakup? Read more...